~Iceiry

Well, I manage to come on deviant regularly for about a month, and then the instant I post up a journal congratulating myself on that, I end up not logging in again for another three months. Typical. I'm so useless. Haha, but whatever.

I'm.. tired.

But happy. You know? I feel like I'm in such a good place right now.
I've changed so much over the last few years. I was going through a lot of my old things and looking through stuff I'd written and pictures I'd taken and just.. all the junk that I can't seem to stand throwing away. Pack rat-age aside, I'm glad I went through it all. I could see I wasn't happy with a lot of things before, and I'd lie to myself about them. No, that's not fair. I WAS happy about a lot of things, but in comparison to now, it just seems so.. paltry and fake. I really like who I am and where I am right now. Well, okay, I'm not entirely content with EVERY little aspect and detail of my life maintenant, but hey, that's life for you.

Mmmm.. I have a four day weekend. I need the break. I intend to relax and enjoy it.

Gosh. I'm just so incredibly relieved this week is over. It was really awful and busy - I pulled two all nighters in a row, and only just got some sleep a couple hours ago. Cell phone went off though, so I woke up, and now I'm feeling awake and restless, even though I know I probably shouldn't be. But I don't care. I'm happy.

Hmm.. The next couple months are going to be really intense. I'm not entirely looking forward to it all. I think I overloaded myself with things to do and places to be, like usual. I keep telling myself that I'll know when I've reached my breaking point and that I'll drop things if I need to - but now I don't think I could even if I wanted to. Oh well. On the plus side, I got into our spring musical again. Although my parents don't exactly know, and I don't intend for them to know until they either realize I've been staying at school for inordinate amounts of time, or until it's opening week. Whichever comes first.

Anyway.. IB. Hmm. I really wish I could drop it. It's so rough this year, and I feel like I've already burned out. First quarter I did amazing, but then this quarter, I just.. had no drive? Granted, I don't tend to have much motivation academically normally. But I don't know. Lately I've been stressing about colleges. All the ones I'm seriously looking at have like average gpas of 4.0 and stuff, which I find ridiculous. Last year I thought that with all the ib classes I have, the .5's would bump me up and I'd be set. Unfortunately.. I forgot to take into account the fact that they're HARD, and it's impossible for me to get A's in everything. Oh well. We'll see. At least my extra curric's are good.

Mmm. This is turning into a long journal. If you've made it this far, congratulations! You wasted 5 minutes of your life for me. Merci.

So.. where was I? I don't remember. I wish I was going up to ILMUNC this weekend. I'm so disappointed our school missed the registration date. On the plus side, Georgetown is in three weeks.. So, three weeks until I get to see him! Exciting stuff. I don't know what I'll have to look forward to after that, though. Mmm. Prom? That would be nice. We'll see.

Anyway, I think I'm done. Its 1 am, and I think I feel like sleeping now.

Love you all.
Cynthia/Vidya